One fat glob of spit

Recently I've encountered something that I couldn't stop thinking about. In my building lives a man that I often see together with his little son. He walks him home from kindergarten or they go on little walks. He is always really friendly, one of the most polite people in the building in the sense that he always greets and smiles brightly. While many others shuffle past you without looking up from their phone or feet, who cannot even spare a "Hi" this man always meets your eye. When someone in our group chat with all house neighbours asked to be given a jump start at the next train station he volunteers.

Then some days ago I went inside at the same time as him and his son. We entered the front door, waited amiably for the elevator doors to open and started our mutual ascent.

And then I watched as he spat on the elevator floor.

He just spat on the floor. Inside.

In front of his son.

One fat glob of spit on an otherwise clean elevator floor.

No one said anything. Me neither.

I was completely frozen. Were all his previous smiles fake, I thought. Was he the one throwing the old furniture in the yard. Did he do this often. Did he do it on purpose while I was in here too. Did his son start doing it too.

One fat glob of spit was all it needed to question everything I knew of this man.

In my building there is a constant stream of litter. Inside as outside. People throw their trash on the floor instead of the bins. Put old furniture out in the yard instead of bringing them to recycling.
I always thought the people who did this must be very selfish, must be the most outrageous and asocial people in the building.

Now I was presented with another option right in my face. That it was not only loud, impolite, non-caring people that threw litter on the floor. And that someone didn't have to care about trash the same way as me, even though they cared about a smile.

So where does that leave me now. Apart from standing dumbfounded in an elevator, I think it can teach me something.

When I don't want to abandon every interaction with him as false data I have to keep in mind that every human is a person. That not everyone doing something "wrong" in our eyes is a bad person. That they can be helpful and kind and also do things that are unhelpful and unkind.

So next time when I witness him spitting on an elevator floor I might be less dumbfounded and I can ask him why he did that.

Maybe he will give an explanation I can understand. More likely than not I will still disagree with him. But maybe I can ask if he would find it okay for his son to do the same. Or everyone else in the building. I won't pretend like I know what he will say. But I don't have to. That's what I have to find out.

And maybe that little interaction will change something. In me, or him, or his son. Maybe it won't but I have not lost anything in trying.

17-09-2026

The whole of a system can create entirely unwanted results, while each subsystem follows its own purpose diligently
complexity | the individual and the collective